Dirty Daddy (A Single Dad Romance) (The Maxwell Family) Read online

  Trinity thought about it for a while. “Is she your girlfriend?”

  I shook my head. “No. She’s not.”

  “I don’t want to see her,” she said after a while.

  “Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel influenced by me. You must do whatever you want, okay?”

  “I don’t like to see you upset, Daddy. You’ve been so happy, and now you are sad. I don’t want to meet her. Anyway, I like being around Kennedy. Sometimes I wish she was my mother.”

  My heart broke. Not only did Trinity not want to see her real mother, but I had now ruined things with Kennedy for her. What was wrong with me? Why did I mess everything up? Angela had been right all along. I wasn’t a good father. I didn’t have the heart to tell Trinity that I had messed up. She’d had enough truths for one day.

  “How about we make some breakfast?” I suggested instead.

  “Can we have healthy pancakes?”

  I smiled. “We sure can.”

  I climbed out of bed and set out to make pancakes with Trinity. She didn’t seem at all concerned about what I had told her about Angela. She was laughing and smiling as usual and talking about how she was going to make some pancakes for Kennedy soon. I was glad to see that she was happy despite what I had told her, but every time I heard Kennedy’s name, my heart broke.

  Trinity was back at school the next day, so we set about getting everything ready, and again it at least gave me something to focus on. Trinity was sad that she was not going to be with Kennedy all day, but also excited for school.

  “I’m going to tell everyone that I went to Disney World.”

  I laughed. “That’s good. But remember what I said, okay? You can tell people, but you mustn’t brag. Not everyone gets the same opportunities, and you don’t want to make them feel left out. Okay?”

  She nodded. “Yes, Daddy. I won’t boast. But can I still tell them?”

  “You can tell them,” I said and smiled.

  “Can we go through the pictures, Daddy?” she asked.

  I gulped. I’d hoped that she would’ve forgotten about the photos. We’d spent all week taking photos of our trip, and I promised Trinity that we would go through them on the computer when I got home. I couldn’t take back my promise now even though the last thing I wanted to see was Kennedy’s happy face. I plugged it in and the two of us sat down together in front of the computer.

  There were a lot of photos, and it took even longer than usual to go through all of them because Trinity kept stopping me to take a better look. She giggled with delight at all the photos, especially the ones where she and Kennedy had pretended to be dinosaurs. The photos were great, and I was happy to finally have some recent ones of Trinity, but they were also sad. Maybe if I showed the photos to Kennedy, she would forgive me.

  “Why don’t you show Kennedy these photos tomorrow after school?” I said to Trinity. Kennedy wouldn’t sit down with me, but she wouldn’t say no to Trinity. It was a bit sneaky using my daughter to get back with Kennedy, but it was worth a shot. Trinity thought it was a fantastic idea, so I showed her how to open up the folder herself.

  “Got it?” I said to her.

  “Got it!”

  “Trin, I need to get a bit of work done. Do you want me to put a movie on for you?”

  “Yes, please. Can I choose?”

  We walked to the living room together, and I put on one of her favorite movies. It never ceased to amaze me how she could watch the same movies over and over again and not get bored. Once she was settled, I went back to the room and opened up my laptop. I hadn’t looked at my emails all week, and I groaned at the sight of them. How could I have received so many in just a few days? I decided to spend the next hour methodically going through them so that I wouldn’t have as many to sort through tomorrow. I had a full list of clients seeing me tomorrow, so the quicker I got through the emails, the better.

  I ended up sitting for an hour and a half, and I was pleased to see that I had gotten through almost all of them. Thankfully, as it turned out, a lot of them were spam emails that could just be deleted. I could still hear Trinity’s movie playing, and I picked up my phone to try Kennedy once more. I had a sudden overwhelming urge to talk to her again. I didn’t expect her to answer, so it was with great surprise when I heard her voice on the other side of the phone.

  “Hi, Reed,” she said. Her voice sounded small and sad.

  “I’m so glad you answered.”

  “I almost didn’t,” she said.

  “Ken, I miss you. Do you want to come for dinner tonight? I’ll make. I still owe you that spaghetti dish remember? Please come.”

  “I’m sorry, Reed, but I can’t. I just can’t right now.”

  I sighed. “Are you sure? We can talk things through.”

  “There’s not much to talk about really. And I’m starting to think that maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so involved with you in the first place. I should’ve known that it was going to end in heartache.”

  “It doesn’t have to,” I said.

  “I’ll still be there for Trinity like I said, but I don’t think I can be her nanny anymore. Don’t worry, I know you have work tomorrow, and I know you need to catch up. I’ll still come this week. But I think this is going to be my last week, Reed. I’m sorry, but it’s just going to be too hard for me to see you every day.”

  I gulped. I had a feeling she was going to say this. “I understand,” I said sadly.

  “Okay. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, Reed,” she said formally.

  “See you tomorrow.”

  Chapter Thirty

  Kennedy

  I didn’t want to go to work that morning. It was the first time since starting with Reed that I was dreading my day. But, no matter what had happened, I couldn’t just leave him without at least giving him the chance to find someone else. I wasn’t looking forward to telling Trinity that I wasn’t going to be her nanny anymore, but it simply wouldn’t be healthy for me to stay. I felt like an awful person. I should never have allowed myself to get so close to them. I was just supposed to cook their food and take care of Trinity. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love at the same time. I wasn’t supposed to become a replacement mother. It had all happened too fast, too soon, and now little Trinity was going to suffer because of our carelessness.

  I got to Reed’s house that day with a heavy feeling of dread weighing down on me. It was Reed’s first day back at work after the holiday, which meant that he would probably be home later than usual. Usually, I wouldn’t have minded this. I loved spending time with Trinity. But I had a feeling that this day was going to be harder than most. Today I was going to have to spend a very long day pretending as if everything was okay.

  I opened the door and forced myself to smile.

  “Morning, Reed,” I said as normally as possible.

  “Morning, Ken. Uh, would you like some coffee?”

  “No thanks, I already had some at home,” I said.

  The two of us stood there for a few minutes in awkward silence while I silently begged Trinity to make an appearance. I could see that Reed was just about to say something to me and I quickly looked away. Thankfully, at that moment, Trinity walked in carrying a small bag.

  “Where are you going?” I asked her.

  “To school. It’s my first day back remember,” she said.

  “Oh! I forgot.”

  “Is that okay? Do you mind taking her and picking her up once she’s done?” Reed asked.

  I felt relief wash over me. That gave me a few hours without pretending like nothing was wrong. I nodded with a bit more enthusiasm than was necessary. “Absolutely. Oh, Trin, are you excited?”

  “Yes, I’m going to tell them all about Disney World. But I’m not going to boast!” she said.

  I chuckled. “That’s good. Well, say goodbye to your Daddy then. I’ll make you something to eat quickly and then I’ll take you.”

  My message to Reed, I hoped, was clear—it said, ‘do not stay for breakfast wi
th us.’ He seemed to notice. Because he kissed Trinity on the head and told her that he had to get going as he had a busy day ahead of him.

  “Bye, Daddy,” she called out.

  “Bye, Reed,” I said and quickly walked to the kitchen to start the breakfast.

  I actually hadn’t had any coffee. I just said that because I didn’t know what else to say at the moment. So when Reed left, I made myself a cup and sat down with Trinity while we discussed her upcoming school day. Afterward we got into the car, and I dropped her off.

  “Can you walk me to the front?” she asked.

  “Of course I can,” I said and took her hand.

  As we walked to the school, I could see how proud she was to be walking with me into the school. I felt daggers being thrown into my heart at the sight of her little face. How was I going to tell her that I was no longer with her father? I hugged her goodbye and rushed to the car so that she wouldn’t see my tears. As I drove back home, I finally allowed myself to cry. I hadn’t cried in a very long time, and the emotional response was almost too much to bear at that moment. It wasn’t just me that I was crying for anymore. I was crying for Reed, I was crying for Trinity, I was crying for everything that had ever gone wrong in my life. I had to stop the car because I couldn’t see through the tears. I sat there crying in the car for almost an hour before I finally headed back home. I felt like I had no more tears left inside of me, but as soon as I walked back inside, they started all over again.

  I decided to go home instead of going to Reed’s house. There were too many memories at his house, and at least at home, I had Merlot to keep me company. He seemed to know that I was upset, and spent most of the day curled up near me. Trinity’s school day wasn’t very long. I had planned on spending the day cooking, but in the end, all I did was just watch TV to help get my mind off my problems. It didn’t help much, but I stayed there regardless.

  “You are the only thing in my life that hasn’t hurt me,” I said to Merlot. “I think we should officially get married.”

  Merlot looked at me as if to tell me I was mental, but then he put his little paw on my leg and tapped it. I wasn’t sure if he was telling me that everything was going to be alright or if he was just giving me a gentle nudge as a reminder that I should feed him. I fed him regardless and kissed his little head.

  “Time to go, my boy,” I said. “See you later. I expect lots more cuddles from you when I return.”

  Trinity climbed excitedly into my car when she saw me.

  “It’s so cool that you came to get me,” she said.

  “Of course I got you. Otherwise you’d have to sleep in your classroom, and I don’t think that would be too comfortable,” I said, and she laughed. “So, how was your first day back?”

  Trinity launched into a tale of her school day, stopping only to take deep breaths before rattling off again. She was adorable, and I was actually glad to be with her again. In some ways, she reminded me too much of what was going on, and in some ways, she helped me forget. When we got home, she grinned at me and told me that she had something to show me.

  “You do?” I asked.

  She led me to Reed’s bedroom, and I tried not to look around. She pointed to the computer.

  “I want to show you the photos from the trip. I looked at them with my dad yesterday. They’re so cool. You are going to love the dinosaur ones,” she said and switched on the computer.

  No! No! No! Not the photos. I didn’t want to see them, but I couldn’t exactly tell Trinity that. So we sat together while she clicked through each photo, pausing far too long on each one to examine them with me. I tried to concentrate on everything except for Reed in the photos, but it wasn’t easy. There was one photo in particular that drove me crazy. I clearly remembered taking it too. Trinity had been fast asleep on her father’s lap, and the two of them were sitting on the balcony of the hotel room. I’d gone to the kitchen to make coffee, and had quickly taken the picture when they weren’t watching. Seeing it again brought back the same memories from that night. I remember thinking that Reed was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. The love that he shared with his daughter was so big and so real. That was the first night that I thought I might be falling in love with him. Just after that photo had been taken, he’d turned around and smiled at me.

  “Okay, let’s see the next one,” I said. I couldn’t look at that photo anymore. It didn’t really help, though. There were so many photos that seemed to offer me the same reaction.

  After looking through the photos, Trinity turned to me with a serious look on her face.

  “My real mother is back,” she said.

  I was surprised at that. I didn’t know that Reed had told her. I couldn’t imagine how difficult that conversation must’ve been.

  “So I hear. Are you okay?” I asked her.

  She nodded. “I’m fine. My daddy told me that her name is Angela and that she wants to see me again. I asked my daddy if Angela was his girlfriend, but he says that she’s not. He also said that if I wanted to see her, I could, and that he wouldn’t stop me.”

  “Do you want to see her?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “No. She makes my daddy sad. Yesterday he woke up with puffy eyes. And she’s not my mother anymore. I don’t even know her.”

  I sighed. “I understand, Trin. And you must do whatever it is that makes you happy. Your father is right about that; this is completely up to you. But it’s good that you have two parents that want to be a part of your life. That’s a good thing.”

  Trinity thought about it for a while before continuing. “It is. I always wanted my mommy to come back, but that was before I met you. Now I don’t need her to. I already have a family with you and my daddy. And we have the best time ever!”

  I smiled at her and tried hard not to cry. I had no idea how to even respond to her. It was all too much for me. How could I break her heart like this? I quickly changed the subject and asked her if she wanted to help me in the kitchen. She eagerly agreed, and together we made a big dinner. I told her that her father was going to be late, so we ate dinner together and watched a movie. After that, I helped her in the bath and then read to her until she fell asleep. Once again, I was amazed at how easy it was to fall back into the same routine with her. I hated the thought that I only had a few more days left of that routine.

  I waited for Reed to come home. I sat in the living room looking at a book, turning the pages without really seeing the words. I wasn’t even sure why I bothered with the book when I had clearly not read a single thing, but it felt good to have something to do. When I heard his car in the driveway, I grabbed my bag and my coat. I was not planning on staying any later than I had to.

  “Hey,” he said when he saw me. “Are you leaving already?”

  I nodded. “Uh, yeah. It’s late. Trinity is asleep. All went well with her first day back at school. She can’t wait to tell you in the morning. There’s a pot of food on the stove, so you just have to heat it up if you’re hungry. Trinity helped me with it, and she wanted to make lots, so there’s a bit more than usual. I’m not sure if you want to take some to work perhaps?”

  “That sounds amazing. Are you sure you don’t to join me now?” he asked hopefully.

  I shook my head. I could barely stand to even look at him. It was too hard. “No, I’ve already eaten. And I need to get back home anyway. The neighbors aren’t there today, and I need to feed Merlot.”

  It wasn’t true. The neighbors were there, and Merlot had probably gotten more food than was necessary. I just needed to get away. It had been an emotional day, and I just wanted the week to be over so that I could go back to the way my life was before.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Reed

  I’d tried all week to talk to Kennedy, but she refused to talk to me about what was going on. I even called Camille, but she told me that Kennedy was someone who believed wholeheartedly in honesty.

  “But I wasn’t lying to her,” I insisted.

 
“Look, Reed, I like you. But Kennedy is my best friend, and right now I have to stick up for her. She’s hurt. You have to understand where she is coming from. I don’t you have any idea how hard it has been for her to open up to you. You’re the first guy that she’s allowed herself to be close to in a long time. Trust me; I know this because I have been trying to get her to date forever. She’s been so closed off from men.”

  “But why?”

  “Kennedy spent her whole life being thrown from one foster home to another. I’m sure you know that already. What you don’t know is how much it hurt her. What you don’t know is how she became very close to one family in particular. They promised to adopt her and said that they would never leave her. She stayed with them for a full year, and they promised her that they loved her more than anything in the world.”

  I didn’t know any of this. I leaned forward. “And then what happened?”

  “The woman got pregnant. And just like that, she didn’t want Kennedy anymore.”

  “But why? Why couldn’t she have Kennedy too?”

  “Well, that’s a question I’m sure Kennedy asked herself a million times too. But this woman went from loving her to suddenly not needing her anymore. She had only been a replacement when the woman thought that she couldn’t have any kids. That has stayed with Kennedy forever. I think it was since that day that she stopped getting too close to people. It’s a miracle she’s so close to me. But when it comes to love, true love with a man, she puts on her armor. And you have been the only man that has been able to get through it.”

  “And now I messed it up.”

  Camille had sighed. “I’m sorry, Reed. I do like you, and I know how much she means to you. But Kennedy has closed her heart again, and right now I’m not sure how much you can do to get through to her.”

  “I love her, Camille.”