Dirty SEAL (A Navy SEAL Romance) (The Maxwell Family) Read online

  “I miss you, Mom. I wish you were here. You would know what to do in this situation. Can I tell you something that I haven’t told anyone? I’ve barely even admitted this to myself. I think I’m in love with Grant. I’ve never felt that way about anyone before in my entire life. I always wondered what it felt like to be in love with someone. I wasn’t sure that I’d ever find out what it felt like. And then I met Grant. He’s different from most of the guys I’ve known. I don’t know what it is about him. He’s just different. And now it’s all ruined. Is this what it felt like with you and my father? Did you also just know? I’m so sad thing he left us when we could’ve been such an amazing family together. I met him, Mom. He came back. And he’s amazing. But . . . sometimes it’s hard for me to forget what happened. And then I worry that you’re going to be upset that I’ve forgiven him. And what if Grant is like him? What if he leaves me the way Dad left you? I just wish you were here to talk to me. Sometimes I feel so alone.”

  I sat there crying for a while. Sometimes when I visited her grave, I’d have pretend back and forth conversations. But this time I was more aware of the fact that I’d never hear her voice again. I’d never feel her arms around me. I heard a sound behind me, and I jumped. I turned around, and my father was standing there.

  “I’m sorry I gave you a fright,” he said. “Mind if I sit down?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, of course,” I said and wiped my eyes. “Did you hear me talking?”

  “A little,” he admitted. “I’m sorry that you feel so alone.”

  “It’s not your fault,” I said.

  “It is a little, though.”

  I nodded. It was true, and neither of us could deny it. But as hard as it was, I was grateful that we were being so honest with one another. “Do you come here often?”

  “Ever since I’ve moved back here, I’ve come every day.”

  “Have you moved back for good?”

  “I have. I don’t want to leave you again. Now that I’ve found you, I never want to let you go. I hope you don’t mind.”

  I felt a little smile form on my face. “I don’t mind,” I whispered.

  “You know, Emily, I loved your mother very much. I think one of my biggest problems was that I always felt like I didn’t deserve a woman like that in my life. She was everything to me. When I left, I wanted her to tell me to come back. And when she didn’t, I thought she was happy that I had gone.”

  “Would you have come back?” I asked.

  “I think so. I don’t know. But all I’m trying to say is that if you really love Grant, then don’t let him get away. Maybe he’s just scared, like I was. Some people just need a bit more reassurance than others. You’ve got to put everything into a relationship if you love someone. You can’t just run away from your problems. Look at me. I ran away, and it didn’t make me a happier man. I was lonely all those years without my family. I regret that so much. I’ve lost out on so many years.”

  Suddenly he was crying. Ever since we’d met, he’d had a very calm demeanor about him, and as horrible as it was to see him cry, I was glad to see the emotion. I reached out and wrapped my arms around him. It was the first time that the two of us had hugged, and soon I was crying too.

  “You know,” he said when we eventually pulled away. “Your mom would be happy to see us like this.”

  “I think so too. She never said anything horrible about you, you know. That was something I never understood growing up. I kept asking her if she was mad at you, if she hated you, if you were a horrible person. And she always told me what a lovely man you were. I think she always knew you’d come back.”

  “I just wish she were still here,” he said.

  “Me too. Every single day. I don’t think that wish will ever go away.”

  “No, I suppose not. Emily, I’m never going to leave you. I hope you know that. I don’t ever want to leave you again. This is it now. I’m here for good. I want to be in your life. I might have missed out on your childhood, but I want to be there for the rest. I really mean it.”

  I smiled. “I know you do.”

  “I love you,” he said, and his voice choked slightly on the words.

  I nodded. “I love you too, Dad.” He looked at me in surprise at the word ‘Dad’ and I smiled. “Okay, that was weird to say out loud,” I said with a nervous laugh. “But I liked it.”

  “I liked it too.”

  We sat in silence for a few moments.

  “Are you going to fix things with Grant?” he asked. “I really liked him, you know. It was clear to me how much he cared for you.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know. I’m scared it’s too late.”

  “No, it’s not too late.”

  I smiled at him. “Have some time?” I asked.

  “Of course. Why, what did you have in mind?”

  “I was thinking we could stay here a little longer, and maybe tell some stories about Mom? There’s lots about her that you know, and I don’t. And there’s tons I know that you don’t. I think it will be nice. Oh, and I come here once a month to visit. Want to make this a monthly visit together?”

  “I’d love that, Emily.”

  I leaned and put my head on his shoulder, and the two of us sat for almost an hour, talking about my mother. It was both the saddest and happiest moment of my life.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Grant

  I couldn’t get Emily out of my head. After I’d calmed down, which took a lot longer than I’d hoped, I finally made my way to her house. I had to see her. I had to know that she was okay. Brady was right: I was falling in love with her, and if I didn’t rectify things now, I was going to regret it for the rest of my life.

  I went to the shop and bought a few ingredients, and then made my way to her house. When I arrived, she wasn’t there, and I had a sinking feeling that she might not come home that night. Maybe she was going to spend the night at Terra’s. But I decided to wait before calling Terra, in case I was wrong. When I finally saw her car pulling into the driveway, my heart lurched with joy. When she got out the car, I could see she hadn’t seen me. She got her bag and coat out the car and started walking toward the car. When she saw me, she stopped and put a hand to her heart.

  “Grant?”

  I smiled at her. I couldn’t believe how much I’d missed her.

  “Hey, Em.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  I held up the bags. “I’ve come to make you dinner.”

  “Dinner?”

  “And to apologize. If you’ll let me.”

  She smiled. “I was going to call you, anyway. I also need to apologize.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it all day. Come in,” she said and opened the door.

  The minute we got inside, I pulled her in toward me and kissed her. At first, her body felt tense. But as our lips pressed together and we shared our warmth, I could feel her relaxing in my arms.

  “I missed that,” I said.

  “I missed you,” she replied. Then she looked at my bags. “So, what’s for dinner?” she said casually, as if we’d never had a huge fight at all.

  I chuckled. “I figured you still hadn’t tasted my cooking, but at the same time, I didn’t want to poison you. So I thought it would be nice to get pizza crusts and just throw a whole bunch of toppings on them and stick them in the oven. So, in a way, it’s sort of like me cooking.”

  “Oh, that totally counts as you cooking,” she said. “So, what toppings did you get?”

  “Like you really had to ask. I have four packs of bacon, and four different varieties of cheese.”

  She burst out laughing. “Four packs of bacon? That’s amazing. We’re totally using them all.”

  “And, of course, I have champagne. It felt like a champagne sort of night. Let me open this thing. You get the glasses.”

  She got out the glasses while I popped open the bottle, and I poured us each a glass.

  “This is nice,�
�� she said and smiled at me.

  “Yeah, this is so nice.”

  “Okay, should I help you cook?”

  I shook my head. “Nope. You can sit at the counter and watch me.”

  “Really? Come on, let me help.”

  “Okay. You can grate the cheese. I’ll fry the bacon. There’s not actually that much to do.”

  “I like your style of cooking,” she said and reached for the grater. She sat down and started grating the cheese. I laughed when I saw that the mound of cheese wasn’t getting much bigger.

  “Are you eating or are you grating?”

  “I have to test for quality you know. Make sure it’s okay and all that. And you’re one to talk! I saw that piece of bacon you popped into your mouth.”

  I laughed. “Damn, I thought I’d been so sneaky. So, where were you this afternoon? Did you have to work late?”

  “I was at the graveyard, visiting my mom. I usually go once a month to chat with her and my gran. But I didn’t get a chance to go last month.”

  “That’s nice of you, Em.”

  “Also, my dad was there,” she said.

  “Your father? John?”

  She nodded. “Yeah, turns out he’s been visiting every day since he arrived in Buffalo.”

  “And you seem so calm. Did you guys talk?”

  She smiled. “Actually, there’s something I have to tell you. You were right about everything you said to me, Grant.”

  I shook my head. “No. I shouldn’t have said all those things to you. It’s your life, and I have no idea how you feel. It wasn’t right that I said that.”

  “Yeah, maybe you went about it the wrong way. But you were still right. Anyway, I invited him out for dinner again.”

  “You went for dinner?”

  “I did. And this time I didn’t storm out. I listened to him and got to know him. And, well, he’s actually a really nice guy.”

  “You’re not mad at him anymore?”

  “Oh, I am. I mean, I get my moments. But I’m trying. And it was really nice talking to him and getting to know him. He’s an author. How cool is that? I read one of his books this week. He dedicated it to me.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. So much had happened since the last time I’d seen Emily. I couldn’t believe that she’d done all this without me. I should’ve been there for her. I told her, but she just shook her head.

  “I needed to do this on my own. It’s okay. I’m feeling better about it all. I’ve spoken to him every day since that dinner. And then, today he came to see my mom, just like I did. We didn’t plan that. We sat for ages just telling each other stories about my mother. It was difficult sometimes, but I loved it. We’re going to do it every month. I’m learning things about her that I never knew before, and so is he.”

  “Wow, Em. That’s so special.”

  “He’s the one that told me I should call you. He said he could see how much we liked each other. He really liked you, by the way.”

  I smiled. “I liked him, too. I can see a lot of you in him.”

  “Yeah, me too actually.”

  “Em, I also have quite a few things that I need to tell you.”

  “You do? Tell me,” she said.

  I took another sip of the champagne and sighed. “It’s about your house. I know who did it.”

  “What? Are you serious? How?”

  “I only just found out today. I actually caught the guy at the house.”

  “Who was it?”

  Suddenly I remembered why the man had looked so familiar to me. The time I’d gone to visit Emily at work. I’d seen a man standing outside staring at the building. He’d glared at me. It was the same man. I felt cold just thinking about it.

  “Em, is there a man who has asked you out three times recently? Some man you keep turning down?”

  Her eyes widened. “Brett! That’s Brett. Did he do this?”

  “Who is he?”

  “He’s the father of one of the kids that I teach. Wendy is the sweetest girl in the world, but her father is a real creep. I used to think he was sweet, and when he asked me out the first time, I thought it was nice of him. But then he asked me out two more times, and it started getting weird. Then, when the house burned down, he tried to get me to stay with him. Grant, did he do this?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. And he totally admitted it to me. He didn’t know who I was. He told me he wasn’t trying to hurt you, but he just wanted to give you a reason to come and stay with him. That was his way of getting you to go out with him. I couldn’t believe it. I mean . . . who does something like that?”

  “What did you do? Did you tell him you knew me?”

  “Uh . . . yeah. And then I punched him in the face.”

  “What?”

  “I’m sorry. I know I need to work on my temper. But I couldn’t help myself. I mean, the guy could’ve hurt you. And I took away something that meant so much to you. I was so angry. Thankfully, Brady came by and pulled me away.”

  She smiled. “Thank you.”

  “Why? I thought you’d be mad.”

  “Thank you for always sticking up for me. And he deserved that. But what if he does it again?”

  “He won’t. Trust me. Anyway, I called the authorities. So they’re dealing with him now. I’m not sure what’s going to happen, but I’m pretty sure you won’t be hearing from him again.”

  “He actually burned my house down,” she said and shook her head in amazement. “How could anyone do that to someone that they supposedly want to date? Thank goodness I didn’t say yes to him that first time. That’s not someone I want to get involved in.”

  “There’s something else I want to tell you about,” I said and topped up our champagne glasses. “Although, let’s get these pizzas in so we can go sit in the living room.”

  We piled the pizzas up with so much cheese and bacon I wasn’t sure we were even going to be able to lift them up. We put them in the oven and then made our way over to the living room with our champagne. As I sat down, Emily leaned down and kissed me gently on the mouth before going to sit down on the sofa in front of me.

  “What was that for?” I asked.

  “For punching Brett.”

  I grinned. “I can’t tell you how good it felt when I did it.”

  “I wish I’d seen it. So, what else do you have to tell me?”

  I took a deep breath. “If you’re not happy about this, let me know, okay? I do realize that I should’ve spoken to you about it beforehand. So please be honest with me.”

  “Okay, this sounds very ominous. But yeah, I’ll be honest with you,” she said.

  I took a deep breath. It was now or never. “Well, here’s the thing,” I started and then stopped.

  “Grant, you can tell me anything. Don’t look so worried,” she said.

  “Okay,” I said and started again. “I decided to purchase your old house. And I signed the papers already.”

  “What do you mean? The house is burned down. How can you buy it? I don’t understand.”

  “I know, but it’s not all gone. And a lot of the structure still remains. Most of the important stuff is still there, to be honest. Which means I managed to get it for a very good price. And with the money I saved, I’m going to do it up again. I know how much that house meant to you, and that it was a part of your family history. So I decided to buy it. I needed a place to stay, anyway. I can’t stay with Brady forever. Brady had some connections for me though, and you’re going to get paid out from the insurance. The land is still in your name, so you’re going to have to come in and sign a few papers. I have bought it, but I still want your name to remain. It’s your house Em. It always will be.”

  She didn’t say anything for a while. She just sat there staring at her hands in her lap. I thought she was angry at me and I cursed myself for doing this without asking her first. Then she looked up and smiled. She had tears in her eyes.

  “You bought my house,” she whispered. A small smile was playing on h
er face, so I knew that she wasn’t upset.

  “You don’t mind?”

  “Are you kidding me? I don’t mind at all. I’m just . . . in shock. That’s the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me. I know you say you need a house to stay in, but I also know that it would’ve been way easier for you to just find a house already standing. I know that you did this for me, and I can’t even begin to tell you how much it means to me. The very idea that I’ll have that house again, is the best thing in the world.”

  I grinned. “I’m so relieved to hear you say that.”

  “Does that mean you’re definitely staying in Buffalo?”

  “I am. I love it here. And anyway, there’s no way I’m leaving you. You’re the biggest reason I have for staying. I love you, Emily Audrey Wessler.”

  She laughed. “And I love you, Grant Patriot Maxwell.”

  I pulled her toward me. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met in my whole life.”

  “And I would rather be with a man that builds me a house than one that burns it down,” she said and smiled.

  I kissed her, and I realized I didn’t ever want to let her go.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Emily

  Grant reached up and undid my ponytail so that my hair fell down around my face.

  “You’re beautiful,” he said and pulled me toward him.

  I leaned in close and kissed him. After not kissing him for so long, it felt like we had a lot of making up to do. I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted anything in my whole life, and I didn’t want the moment to end. His hands moved through my hair as we kissed, and then he pulled away and began kissing me on the neck. I could feel his hot breath against mine, and the hairs on my arms stood up as I shivered from it. Nobody had ever made me feel the way that he had. I could barely remember what it was like to even be with another guy. The memories all seemed to morph together. The only thing that seemed real to me was Grant.